State of Grace
by cardigansand-fanfiction
Summary: Alexsandra Evens come from a troubled childhood she has these big though walls up around her heart that she's never really let down but will not only the glee club break them but will one Ryder Lynn find his way into her heart and Teach her about the love she's ben missing her whole life. Rated M for themes and language. And possible smut later on.


**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot and the fictional character Alexsandra Evans**

Chapter One: Welcome to La La Land

"_alexandra es la película que vas a llegar tarde en su primer día maldito"_ my Aunt Maria screamed up the stairs she only spoke to me in Spanish when she was really serious or she's drunk

"_jesús bien se necesita tiempo para mirar dis Buena_" I responded as I put my best friend Scotts snap-back on my head he gave it to me when I left California since my dad got busted for some illegal substances. I wasn't really into the whole "oohh shoes pink diamonds ohhhh" girly kind crap. For as long as I can remember I've been in jeans and t-shirts probably due to the fact that I was raised by my father; my mother left us for her pimp of a boyfriend and the bright lights of Vegas. To pursue her dreams of shaking her ass on a stage while creepy men stuffed 20$ in her G-string I haven't heard from her since in was 3 but besides that I guess I had a normal-ish childhood If you consider your dad being a big time drug dealer normal... Well it was my normal.

From day 1 was never a people person I found 3 friends and stuck with them Zac, Scott and Stiles there like my big brothers there super over protective me; and Scott tried the whole lets date thing but when we tried making out it was well it was like incest and the strangest thing for both of us. Now I get what you're thinking "awwwwe your best friend and you date and fall in love" no no no no no it was not like that its ben me and him for 16 years me and him for as long as I could remember and we just are so close we couldn't see ourselves like that. Zac was along for the ride too and I was totally in love with him and we would deff be a thing but he likes the D and uhh I got the V but that's probably why I thought that in the 1st place. Stiles came along in kindergarten he through clay at me and I through a toy fire truck at him while the teacher was cleaning his bloody nose and I was being reprimanded we both kind looked over at each other and we were best friends instantly; the fact that we both got help back helped to; so im in sophomore but I'm 17. I got held back because I'm dyslexic and Mrs. Messina didn't think I was ready for the "big guns of grade school" and stiles well it took him a while to understand what a book was. That's kind of its that's all there really is to me. But now I'm starting on a clean slate now ex-boyfriend no ex-hook ups not anything and I couldn't be more pist of I liked that fact that the guys knew me as that hot girl who didn't believe in love and liked sex it was good thing hot guys chasing after you and it's not like I gave it away like it was extra penny well not all the time and yes I don't believe in love if it was real mom would have stayed and so would have my dad

"Now move it" my aunt said snapping me out of my daze

"ok ok I'm going" I said grabbing a apple off the kitchen table I hopped in my black Mercedes Benz I got as a sorry your dad got arrested and were forcing you to move gif from my aunt and my family lawyer Jim.

I sat in my car and cranked the Radio up "Oh Shit this is my song"

"Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year" I belted along with Mick Jagger who I named my tan and black Jack Russell Terrier after

I took about 4 songs to get to Mckinley "Well, well you You make my dreams come true Well, well, well you you make my dreams come true" my car roared I found a spot and stopped my car as I got out all eyes seamed to wonder my way; was it my outfit it was my light high waited shorts with a white crop top with a red and black flannel with my way worn out black converse. I awkward pulled my black jansport over my shoulder it had various band pins and marvel patches and graffiti that my friends drew in silver sharpie on it and it wasn't at all appropriate most of it read "twat" "bitch" "S.A.D" (suck a dick).

By the time I reached the front door I have received so many glairs that I was debating on hiding in my car for the rest of the day "no Alex you're a boss ass bitch" I said to myself keeping my head high as I walked down the hallway "ughh" I rolled my eyes; not to self no more short to many pervs. I made my way to the guidance office to see a curly haired man and a fair ginger eskimo kissing.

"Umm" I awkwardly said

"Oh I'm sorry I was just leaving by pumpkin" the curly haired man said as he kissed the woman's cheek

"Hi you must be Alexsandra Evans please take a seat my name is Ms. Pillsbury" she said gesturing towards the seat in front of her perfectly organized desk.

"Hi yeah nice to meet you I said sitting down" she was going over some rules but I was distracted by the unusual pan flits behind her; "help I'm in love with my step dad' "so you're a trick ass hoe" "I can't stop touching myself".

"Umm yeah got it" I said returning my gaze to her

"So here is your schedule and your locker combo" she said handing me some papers.

"Thanks" I mumbled

"So do you have any extracurricular or hobbies sports anything you enjoying doing outside of school, our school has some great programs" she said.

"Yea I paly lacrosse and soccer and I do Kick boxing but that was just for my dad's piece of mind. Just So he knew that I was safe walking home from school" I chuckled slightly "and I also play some instruments I wouldn't say me and my friends had a band but we all loved gathering around bonfires on the beach and belting out some songs" I said.

"oh really well we don't offer kick boxing as most schools don't but we defiantly have plenty of sports teams you can go out for and we have a GLEE club run by my wonderful fiancé" she said.

"Yea sports defiantly it's a good way for me to channel my aggression" I mumbled "Glee club" I questioned.

"Yea it's great in fact they have a welcome back show case this week! They do competitions and all this great stuff its very fun and some of its former members have graduated to preforming arts colleges" she said getting all excited.

"I don't know I'm not really into the whole show tunes thing"

"Oh no it's not like that" she said waving her hand "they all different kinds of things like mashups and they do journey… a lot actually... and they dance in rain and they actually helped my fiancé propose to me in a pool with that we found love song" she said.

"Isn't that a little creepy" I said under my breath so she wouldn't hear me "ohhh kayy ill check it out" I said getting up to leave.

I walked around the hallway searching of my locker 238 not paying attention to where I was walking looking up at the locker numbers "212, 213, 214, 2" I said bumping in to a large person knocking me off my feet.

"Oh my god I am so sorry" the tall browned eyed boy said kneeing down to help me up.

_Mierda_ he was fucking sexy for a boy with lesbieban hair "n-n-no it's my fault I was totally not looking were I was going I said. I grabbed on to his rough hand as he helped me up we both bent down to pick up my schedule at the same time causing us to bump heads.

"Fuck I'm so sorry I just met you and I've hurt you twice already" he said slightly chuckling

"No it's totally ok like all my best friends are guys I'm used to getting hit" I said with a relatively large smile on my face.

"So are you knew here I mean I've only been here a week like everybody else but I feel like I would have noticed you" he said

"Umm yeah my names Alex" I said reaching out my hand (do people still shake hands).

"Lynn Ryder Lynn" he said impersonating James Bond while shaking my hand briefly and then letting go

"Like Flynn Rider from tangled" I said getting all excited

"Ummm I don't really no... Oh wait that's a Disney move right" he said slightly confused

"Umm yeah it not one of the best but it's still Disney but don't worry I could totally see you as like captain America or the arc angel" I said.

"Ahhh you see now those people I know" he said "do you umm want me to show you to your locker" he said probably noticing that, that's what I was doing when I bumped in to him.

"Umm yeah that be great actually its number 238" I said

"Ohhh perfect I'm number 239 locker neighbor" he said with a goofy ass grin.

We walked down the hall making small talk about our favorite superheroes his being Iron Man and mine being Wolverine.

"Here you go Alex locker number 238 but I have to go to class my teachers going to think I'm dying or something" he said directing me toward my bland locker

"Bye Ryder thanks" I said setting my stuff down as he started walking away.

"Now you be careful now don't go bumping in to everybody" he said walking backwards

"Ok" I said laughing;

"I mean it our bump was special and if I find out that you did it with someone else I'll be really hurt" he said flashing me a perfect smile.

"Ok I promise" I said as her turned around and turned the corner

"FFFUUUCKKK" I eternally screamed at myself noooo, no Alex no boys not right now at least and plus he looks like a total jock he's probably a meat head or something like all the asshole guys in California the guys that I would never sleep with I put my books in my locker only taking the ones I needed and putting up a picture of me, Zac, Stiles and Scott with our other friends at a bon fire we had last year that was the perfect night.

I closed my locker and checked my schedule and took out the pass Ms. Pillsbury gave me to give to all my teachers. I walked around looking for my class room 116 I finally found it and walked in all eyes turned to me "ughh" someone save me.

"Hi can I help you" a young blond woman said turning to me.

"Umm yeah" I gave her the pass

"Oh Alex as in Alexsandra I thought it was Alex as in Alexzander" she said laughing at her own stupidity.

"Right" I mumbled

" I'm Mrs. John you can take a seat in the back" she said I walked away I could feel the eyes one by one turning around to look at me. I took a seat next to a tan boy in a leather jacket. I took my books out and started to write down the Math notes on the board.

"Does anybody know what the quadratic formula is" she said after no response she called on me "new girl do you know".

"Umm negative B plus minus radical B squared minu all over 2A" I said awkwardly.

"Perfect! Very good" she stared to talk more about it and imaginary numbers as I zoned out.

"So you're like a smarty pants kid" the boy next to me said.

"umm not exactly I just really want to get into a good college" I said now noticing him looking at my cleavage. I loved being Puerto Rican it gave me a great rack I just would appreciate it if guys would look at my green eyes that I could from my half Irish side.

"Oh yea cool I'm Jake" he said leaning in closer

"Alex" I responded

"Cool hot name" he leaned back in his chair. This kid obviously thought he was hot shit but I wasn't being fooled by his bad boy persona. The rest of the class went fairly quick I wrote down a couple of things. Math was easy for me to grasp its just memorizing formulas and calculator work. The Bell Rang I Breezed by my next 5 classes noticing I had Jake in all of them. Ryder was in my period 3ird period class history with Mr. Schuster; and in my 4th period class English with Mrs. A (who was the sweetest woman alive). In my free period 5th Ryder occasionally looked over at me. When I walked in to 5th he winked at me but I sat in the back looking through my music to see what song I was going to sing for my audition.

_*Flashback to 3ird period _

_The bell rang and I got up and Mr. Schuster stopped me_

"_Alex I wanted to ask you a question" he asked. _

"_Shoot" I said _

"_Mr. Pillsbury told me that you might have had an interest in joining glee club. I'm the director and I just wanted to say hi and let you know new members are needed and always accepted" he said. _

"_Oh yea! She had me at they sing journey" I said smiling._

"_Great! You can stop by after school met me at my office and ill set you up so you can audition. Its not that competitive you really just need to be able to carry a note and harmonize" he said. _

"_Ok cool see you them Mr. Schuster" I said walking out the door._

_Flashback over*_

I was scrolling through my phone listening to _1985 by Bowling for Soup_ when I heard a pair of nails dancing on my desk; I looked up to see a short blond cheerleader.

"Can I help you" I asked sassiness clear in my voice

"No no not really I just wanted to introduce myself I'm Kitty" she said.

"Nice to meet you I'm Alex"

"Oh I know who you are the whole school dose you've made quite some noise here with you pretty face" she said smiling evilly.

"Oh umm"

"ok whatever well I'm here to put you in your place unless you're a jock or a cheerleader your nothing. So stop acting like your something with your off hipster look and your California license plate; cause news flash sweet heart you're not a hot as you think you are" she said feeling good about herself.

"ok one sweat heart I'm from California I've dealt with worse then you and two I'm just trying to get through my 1st day I have talked to about 6 people 4 being teachers. So news flash for you get over yourself" I said standing up "or I will help you do it cuss puta I'm like the hulk once you get me going there's no going back. Even if you're a giant metal alien machine or a not so tough cheerleader; your gonna end up the same way… on the ground begging for mercy" I said towering over her.

She huffed then turned swiftly on her heels waking my face with her pony tail. I sat down in my chair hearing Stiles voice in my head "find the happy place find the happy place". Then I continued to search through my music when I finally found the perfect song and I knew it on guitar well enough.

My next class was Spanish I was put in a senior class cause I'm fluent I walked in and saw the cutest teacher ever Mr. Martinez. I could tell I was going to enjoy this class I looked around for a seat.

"You can sit here" a boy with a bowtie and slicked back hair told me as her moves his bag a side.

"Thank you" I said sitting down

"I'm Blaine" he said putting his hand out;

"Alexsandra" I said putting my hand out.

"Okay clase we have a new student with us today" he said pointing to me.

"Hi" I awkwardly lifted my head up to see everybody looking at me.

"So Alejandra tell us about yourself" he said god he was the only teacher to do this.

"Umm hi I'm Alex and I am a sophomore but I'm fluent in Spanish so I was put in a senior class".

"Oh your fluent can you tell us some interesting facts about yourself in Spanish".

"Umm Mi banda favorita es Rolling Stones y amo los libros de historietas".

"Ok dose anybody know what she said"

"Ooooo I know" a blond haired cheerio said.

"Brittany yes"

"She likes books and rolling stones".

"Not exactly she said her favorite band is the rolling stones and she likes comic books".

Then he went to teaching but I didn't listen;

"So you really like comic books" Blaine said.

"Yea I fucking love them" I said

"That's cool DC or Marvel" he said

"Marvel hands down" I said;

"Good" he chuckled.

"Mmmmm yummy is that raspberry" I said smelling my surroundings

"Yeah it's my hair gel" he said.

"No wonder you have a shit ton in" I laughed.

"hair care is very important to me" he said I'm a serious tone. I swear to god this kid was like an actual puppy and if I didn't have grade a gay-dar due to Zac's training I would totally put him on my fuck list. Then he went back to paying attention I could tell he was struggling.

The Next period I had was lunch Fuck lunch on the 1st day is so awkward especially on your 1st day on the 2nd week. I waited by my locker for about 5 minutes figuring everybody would have settled down by now. I walked in awkwardly pulling at the selves of my flannel; I saw a table way in the back not being used and I locked my eyes on it. I walked to in looking down trying to stay out of everybody's way Jesus I felt like I was in a Taylor Swift music video. I reached the table after what felt like an endless walk. I sat down and pulled out my I phone I texted Zac and told him I was at lunch. Then I pulled a water bottle and bag of chips out of my bag. Within 5 minutes my phone vibrated that Zac ma Bitch would like to face time. I happily answered

"Hay bebe" I said

"Yoo niggs" I heard Zac Say

"ALIII I MISS YOU" Stiles screamed

"Come back be here come back be hereeeee" Scott started to sing one of the saddest Taylor Swift Songs.

"Hi guys I miss you to" I said I spent the rest of the period talking about my day with them; and just plain inappropriate small talk. Every now and then I looked up catching a few kids staring at me.

Next I had science with Mr. Goodwin I sat in the back. Ryder was in that class also. I sat next to a brunet girl her name was Marley. She didn't say much but her name and she asked me how my day was.

Then I had Gym oh yea! This ma shit I was a very sporty person. My dad would let me watch football with him he taught me all I need to know about it. Scott and Stiles taught me everything else the 3 of us and other boys would play lacrosse and football and various other sports.

I got there and went to my teachers Office Mr. Parker he gave me my locker number and combo. He gave me a pair of black shorts and a black Mckinley t-shirt to wear until I bring other ones in.I walked in to the locker room and settled in. I started to change starting with my shorts I felt eyes piercing my skin but I was proud of my body. I had a great set if abs and nice tan legs. I pulled up my shirt to revel them I look down at them admiring how hard I worked to feel this good about myself. I saw Kitty roll her snarky eyes at me. I finished dressing then walked out of the room I got a squat in the back right behind kitty.

"ok class were continuing with soccer everybody outside" Mr. Parker said; I got up and he walked next to me as everybody filed outside.  
"competitive or non-competitive" he asked

"Competitive" I immediately responded.

"Ok boys Alex here will be joining you go join James team" he said pointing towards a tall boy on the right side of the field.

"Hi sorry to like crash your game if I realized that there would be no girls I would of picked non-competitive…" I said awkwardly.

"It ok do you play" James said

"Yea I do" I said

"Are you any good" another boy said.

"I was varsity last year at my high school and I play with all of my guy friends we get pretty down and dirty so I'm gonna assume".

"Ok cool you'll start" he said

FUCK I walked in the field face to face with a tall Spanish guy "Carlos" he said.

"Alex" I said

"OK ready GO" the coach yelled immediately I head butted the ball in the direction of my team. The boys looked shocked I ran past Carlos and down the field when I was in the zone I was in the zone. The other team got the ball and I took it write back. I ran down the field loving the fact that nobody was open. I continues running with the ball the goalie was big so I was going to do my favorite. I kicked the ball in the air and did and aerial jump to kick it in landing perfectly on my feet. I splashing mud on my shoes I turned to see shocked faces of the other team and impressed faces of mine. The rest of the game went on with my help at 1st the boys were scared to hurt me but after I flipped over a kid Josh's back they took no mercy neither did I this was my game.

I cleaned up in the locker room and got changed in to my normal clothing. I walked down the hall pulling on my backpack strings I looked for Mr. Schuster office when I got there I stepped inside

"Alex welcome were just about to start come on" he said leading me in to the choir room "everybody this is Alex she's gonna audition for us whenever you're ready" he said sitting down next to the kid I recognized as Blaine.

"Can I use the guitar?" I asked he nodded his head I asked the band if the band if they knew my song they happily replied yes and I went in the front of the room.

"Umm hi I'm Alexsandra Evans I don't really know what else to say" I said chucking I nodded towards the band to start my song.

I am confident but

I still have my moments.

Baby, that's just me.

I'm not a supermodel,

I still eat McDonald's.

Baby, that's just me.

Well, some may say I need to be afraid

Of losing everything.

Because of where I

Had my start and where I made my name

Well everything's the same

In the la-la land machine, machine.

Who said I can't wear my converse with my dress?

Well, baby, that's just me!

And who said I can't be single

And have to go out and mingle

Baby, that's not me, no, no.

Well, some may say I need to be afraid

Of losing everything.

Because of where I

Had my start and where I made my name

Well, everything's the same

In the la-la land.

Tell me do you feel the way I feel

'Cause nothing else is real

In the la-la land appeal

[Guitar solo]

Some may say I need to be afraid

Of losing everything

Because of where I

Had my start and where I made my name

Well, everything's the same

In the la-la land machine

Well, I'm not gonna change

In the la-la land machine

I will stay the same

In the la-la land...

Machine

Machine

Machine

I won't change anything in my life

(I won't change anything in my life)

I'm staying myself tonight

(I'm staying myself tonight)

La la la la la...

Everybody clapped "I think we all can agree that you're in" Mr. Schuster said "as honorary Rachel I welcome you to the glee club Blaine said.

"Thanks" I said then I sat down as Mr. schue continued his Britney spears lesson.

R&R This is my 1st fanfic sorry if its not that good I'm trying to get better.


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